The Future of the Big Gay NFL

I feel a little petty writing this post, because it features a snarky takedown of NFL fandom and to admit that I simply got a kick out of reading it. I’m only human. I think that it’s important that we take down the modern tower of Babel one brick at a time and NFL fandom is just such a brick.

I don’t keep up with much professional sports, but apparently there is some gay football player named Michael Sam, and there are some in the NFL who are not big fans of gay football players. So, Don Jones tweets a negative comment about Sam, and a journalist then supports the progressive morality of the Miami Dolphins for suspending and fining Jones. Vox Day then criticizes this journalist for taking part in the thought policing.

Now, this was even before Michael Sam’s big gay kiss after receiving the news that he was drafted.

For me, the best part of this entire scene is a comment on Vox’s blog, which would have made me shoot milk out of my nose had I been drinking any. It’s beautifully vicious and probably right. I’ll reproduce it here:

 Shibes Meadow May 12, 2014 6:43 PM

It’s hilarious to watch you guys face the reality that your religion — NFL football — has been taken over by homos. “I guess I’ll have to give up the NFL now!” The hell you will. You’ll sulk for a couple of weeks, but by Thanksgiving every G–d–ned one of you will be back in front of the tele-tit lapping up that Sunday shot of sweet, sweet soma. You’re like drunks on the wagon who convince themselves that one more little drink — for medicinal purposes, of course — won’t hurt. “I’ll just watch the Eagles-Redskins game, then I’m done with it forever!” Pathetic.

Want to be countercultural? Want to be reactionary? Then you’d damned well be better to take it all the way. If you think you can fight the Power while still mainlining the junk the Power is selling you then you’re fooling yourself, just like a street junkie who thinks he can keep it under control. “I’m not an addict! I can quit any time!” Yeah, right.

Pro football, college football, pro basketball, college basketball, the Olympics, the USTA Tour, the PGA Tour, NASCAR, boxing, MMA, hockey, Indy Cars, F1, hell the Kentucky Derby — it’s all one big thing, all part of the total propaganda package you pay for with your monthly cable bill. If you watch or follow any of them, then you are just as much a captive audience as is the college freshman who has to pass Ms. Bambiki-Zulu’s Racial Privilege 101 class at Karl Marx Kommunity Kollege.

“Oh, but I got to have my Packers! I got to have my Steelers!” Really? You “got” to? And what would happen if you didn’t? Let’s say the Minnesota Vikings take it all the way this year, win their first Super Bowl ever in a fantastic overtime one-point win.

SO WHAT.

The sun still comes up tomorrow. The world still turns. Unless you yourself are a member, investor in, or employee of the World Champion Minnesota Vikings, their spectacular victory in the Sooper Bowl means exactly nada, nothing, zip-zip-zero. “Your team” did not win. The Vikings are not “your team”, not in any sense of the word. In fact, the owners, staff, and players of the team very likely hate people like you and everything you believe in. 99 out of 100 of the people who work for and play for and own the teams of the NFL, the NBA, the NCAA, would very likely gladly see you, your family, your church, and everyone who looks like and believes as you do marched into a concentration camp and shot next to a mass grave.

Yet you give them your money, your attention, and your loyalty anyway.

Want a picture of the future? Picture the Halftime Spectacular of Super Bowl LXX. There you are, along with a hundred others like you, bound naked to a row of steel poles on a platform at the fifty-yard line of AT&T Stadium. As President Dr. Dre’s latest hit “Nigger Motherfucker” blasts from the stadium speakers, a muscular, nude Negro transsexual marches up to each of you in turn and blows his or her head off with a rhinestone-encrusted M4. As he reaches you at last, Bob Costas (in a spangled rainbow leotard) holds up the mike to your bloody lips. “Any last words, your racist, sexist, homophobic, cismale white Christian asshole?” he smirks.

You grin through bloody teeth, quirk an eybrow, stare down the barrel of the M4, and with your last breath on Earth you yell at the top of your lungs “HOW ‘BOUT THEM COWWWBOOYYYYYYYS?!”

I’m glad Shibes added college sports in there. Most college sports teams are dominated by blacks, while the college classrooms are dominated by whites. The teams look nothing like the schools. It astounds me to see mobs of white kids cheering on the only blacks that go to their school as if they represent the school. College sports teams are a professional circus that has nothing to do with educational attainment or those attaining educational excellence, it is a walking contradiction, in exactly the same way that a gay sports hero is a contradiction in terms.

Shibes Meadow, if you read this, please hit me up so that I can follow you on Twitter. I hope there is more where that came from.

5/17 Update

I missed another, less poetic comment from Shibes:

 Shibes Meadow May 12, 2014 10:16 PM
Sorry if I hurt anybody’s tender feelings, but I don’t give the Commies and perverts a pass when they say one thing and do another. I’m certainly not going to do it for Our Side,

I was a huge sports fan in the 1970s. From AAU to the WFL — I loved it all. I worked for the USTA back in the ’90s. I worked for another major sports league in the 2000s. I will always love baseball.

But the baseball I love is as dead as the America I love, and pledging my allegiance to pro sports now is as empty and hypocritical an act as is pledging allegiance to Old Glory. In each case, the entity worthy of my allegiance is as much a thing of the past as the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

Still, at least there are still a few Habsburgs left. There is nothing left of the Amerca I loved, nor of its national pastime. It’s all part of the Revolutionary propaganda mill now, and I say to hell with it.

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